Hi My Name is Callistus Netromedev...

and I am a sex addict.

I guess this is the first step: admit that I have a problem.

It was three weeks ago. I was lured into a supposed meet up where all my family and friends were waiting for me. There they told me of their unconditional love and how they accepted me for who and what I was but I must also face my problems. I was hurting myself and my loved ones by continuing on my self-destructive path of sex addiction.

They were all there. My mom was crying , my father was trying to remain calm but spoke with his voice breaking. My kuya was there speaking in the crisp, serious but caring tone he always had when talking of sensitive matters. Even my estranged, mad sister was there, taking her time off her anger management therapy in order to stand there silently judging with eyes showing nothing but scorn.

My aunts and cousins were there as well. Though, I think the latter were there to sponsor the food. That in itself was touching. My aunts were half-hysterical when they tried to remind me of the true Christian path and how I was so far out they feared for my soul.

There were close friends as well. Most of those who were at my birthday lunch celebration came to express their support of my rehabilitation. Some even gave testimonies to evidences of my addiction. By the time my third blocmate began sharing her knowledge of my leather implements, my eldest aunt had hyperventilated, half my cousins scrambled to get her to the hospital.

This terrible event did not prevent my HS friend from divulging my outrageous stash of porn DVD's which I accumulated from way back. By now, my mom had to excuse herself having felt her blood pressure shoot up.

I was mad. Angry mad that is. Not mad like in the context our elementary principal understood my classmate when he called her a mad teacher. It was funny how our principal coerced my classmate to admit that it was he not our principal who was mad, a tale for another day.

I was embarrassed, shamed! My family and friends conspired to accuse me of something they had no right to accuse me of. Sure I had thousands of pesos worth of pornography and sex toys but that was my business. They had no right to bring it before everyone and judge me like I was some pervert.

I stormed out.

My closest friends went after me and convinced me to stay. It took awhile before I calmed down. At first I was so angry and ashamed that I was speechless but after sometime, the anger went away and only the shame remained.

I began to cry. I went back to the place. I apologized to everyone who was there. They all came to me and hugged me or patted me on the back. All of them telling me they forgive me and they love me.

That was three weeks ago. Now, I can admit to everyone that I have a problem. I am fixing it.

Well, that was a nice story. At least I hope it was.

No group of family and friends came together to give me an intervention. I had been hoping something like that would happen. Like in one of those feel good movies or even comedies on TV or dramedies like Dr. Phil's segment on Oprah or his own show which I never got to see.

This confession was elicited from me by a friend during an online conversation. I just commented on his Facebook picture saying that he looked like a pornstar. In truth, there was nothing sexual about the picture at all. Only a third of his body can be seen and he was fully clothed and was in what appears to be a mall.

I only got the pornstar vibe from his expression which was akin to the pseudo-ecstatic-borderline-pain expressions petite women have in porn... Somehow, he captured it perfectly.

Anyway, during chat he observed that I was always thinking about sex. To be fair, I may have been talking to him about guy stuff a lot. As another friend defined 'guy stuff': it's sex or violence or pride. In our conversations, well, you take your pick.

So, I told him, "Yeah well, you see, I'm a sex addict."

"Really?" He replied, clearly incredulous. "Who's you're partner? Yourself?"

I was quick to admit. "Yep. Just like you."

After a few seconds, I realized I was mistaken so I corrected myself. "Sorry. I have one more than you."