Y-Stuff

I've a group of friends with whom I'm close enough to tell them really gritty stuff. The kind of stuff that would make my grandmother, bless her soul, cringe in shame if she were alive. These days, if she only knew of the stuff I tell my friends, she'd claw her way up from the grave and bitch-slap me. Having recently passed through the veil, much to my sadness and regret, I would rather she remain at rest in the bosom of the Creator, as they say. So for this and succeeding posts, I will never divulge specifics on any of the stuff I tell my friends.

What do I tell my friends? Let's just say that I tell them really bad stuff I should really reserve for my confessor but heck, if I can tell some ordained, impersonal, doubtful-if-chaste guy these things I should as hell can tell my friends. Unlike the priests and their seals, I could not keep my friends from spreading all the crazy shit I have been telling them over the years. I just naively trust in their keeping my secrets.

Not too naively, I do not share all my secrets and I do not share to all my friends.

Then, there's a graduation of secrets and friends. Some secrets can only be shared to certain friends. Take for instance this one time in band camp, when this really bad thing happened. Well, not that bad really but something equally bad and I was so guilt-stricken that I felt like my mind was swimming the whole day and I needed to talk to someone to get it off my chest.

So I scrolled down my contact list until I came upon the name of my old rogue friend. I immediately sent him an SMS saying I needed to tell him some deeply, disturbing act which shook my very core. It went against my real self, the soul of my soul, so much so that it rocked my reality.

Looking back, I should have used my altered perception of reality in order to remake the world according to my will but as it seems, my will is not that strong in the first place. If I had been strong, I would not have gone through doing the reality-shaking act that I did.

In any case, my good friend, Prince Zuko was kind enough to agree to hear my confession but as he well knew that he was not the top man in my usual list of confessors, he asked if I had the chance to tell the Red Mage Jenna or the Waterbender Katara. I replied  with the answer that needs no explanation: "It's a guy thing."

In our Art, Prince Zuko orginally expressed it as 

GuyThing = (sex || drugs) && violence

In a later conversation, he expressed it as

GuyThing = (sex || violence || pride)

The last one being more accurate. The key elements of the Y-chromosome, he calls them. I guess these explain the old rhyme.

What are little boys made of?

Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails

That's what little boys are made of !

Anyway, going back to my story, I did get to tell my friend about my dastardly act and he listened and objectively gave sound, if not morally conservative advice. In a nutshell, he said that what I did was not for the general public and specifically not for me.

It was one of my better confessions. I got off with an admonishment not to do it again as I was improperly equipped with something called a conscience. Of course, in typical guy fashion, I got high praises for scoring big in the grand scale of stupid things that guys do.

Good stuff.